The Talent Show
by NuclearGummyBearz
Summary: A talent show is being held at Smash Mansion for lack of a better thing to do. The talent show is filled with inappropriate things. Do not, I REPEAT DO NOT, try anything you see in this fic. It could kill you.


**Hey guys! Just had the idea to do this and couldn't pass it up! My first one-shot XD! Hope you like it! Had the help of a friend (SupahSizePowerFruit783)! Enjoy!**

There was a knock at the mansion door. All the smashers ran to the door but Master Hand was already there blocking their path as Zelda, one of the only ones he (it?) can trust, opened the door behind him.

"Hello! Is this the Smash Mansion?" said a woman wearing a tight short black dress with a white shawl over it. She had long red hair that reached as long as the dress did and gleaming sapphire eyes.

"Yup!" replied Zelda in her usual peppy tone, "The one and only!"

"I have heard that you all here have unusual talents, so I – Angelina Marc - came for a random talent show here!"

Everyone sweat dropped, but master hand ushered her inside and grumbled to the smashers, "Make this work!"

Everyone immediately plotted out their performance and signed their name on a list of who goes first and what-not.

Angelina got a table, chair, and megaphone from nowhere and set them up at the end of the ballroom. Through the megaphone she shouted, "Alright, first up iiiiisssss Kiiirbyyy!"

"Hiiiiiii!" Kirby said, dancing to the center stage where a mini-kitchen had been set. Kirby quickly started up the stove, then bustled about frantically for ingredients of some sort. Finally, when the cooking explosion subsided, Kirby presented Angelina with a dish. A dish covered with the finest soufflé she had ever laid eyes on. He gave her a fork and told in poyo's to eat up. She stuffed her mouth, thinking it would taste as great as it looked. Unfortunately for her, it caused her taste-buds to run away in horror. Although she tried her best to hide it, Kirby soon found out and ran away in tears, soon comforted by Jigglypuff, who abandoned her singing act for his sake.

Angelina, sitting in her chair, was about to call up the next person when Snake ran up to her, groped her, then ran away happily skipping like a schoolgirl. Angelina on the other hand, wasn't quite so happy. Her nerves all died so now her whole body was numb. Not talking quite correctly, she called out the next talent show member, "Wario come up to the stage please."

Once on stage Wario took out a giagnormus GARLIC-BEAN BURRITO and stuffed it down his throat. Angelina still mystified, did not see everyone else put on gas masks. Wario then turned into SUPER WARIO and filled the room with toxic body gas. Angelina's nose exploded, taking her eyebrows and leaving only a shriveled bit left as a nose.

Determined to keep going, she called out Link's name.

Link came out-looking like a heavy metal band guy-and said one word, "Midna."

A she-imp came from the shadows, smirked, and snapped her fingers. At the sound of the snap, humongous speakers set themselves behind Link as an electric guitar appeared in Link's arms. Link turned around and fumbled with some knobs on the speakers. Angelina, not knowing that he just turned the volume on full blast didn't put soundproof earplugs in like all the Smashers did. She just waited patiently till Link started.

"A ONE TWO A ONE TWO THREE FOUR!" and with that one chord, he blasted her ears off onto the wall where they then fell off, dead.

Angelina, not able to hear, taste, feel, or smell anything, turned and shouted, "UHM GAN…GANON…GANONDORK IS UP NEXT!"

"Ganondorf!" He shouted at the smiling Angelina, who had not heard his correction.

He points to the left side of the stage and Macho Man comes blaring on. Samus, as a robot, throws metal blindfolds on all but Ganondorf and Angelina. Ganondorf ripped off his clothes to reveal what lay underneath. NOTHING! He swayed his hips back and forth with his hands behind his head. Each of Angelina's eyes popped out of her skull, and killed each other.

Angelina who can now not feel, taste, see, smell, or hear anything, was lead to the door by Captain Falcon. A robotic voice said, "Captain, we have one more talent." Then Samus OBLITERATED both Captain Falcon and Angelina. It appears that also Snake got caught in it as well, probably trying to grope her again. After the insane effects of the Zero-Blast her armour fell off to reveal a very appealing woman. Link stepped forward about to say something but never got the chance because Samus paralyzed him and Zelda started beating him with Peach's frying pan. Then Samus walked over to Marth taunted him and lured him into letting her into his room, where she locked the door for private matters.

**There all done! Yea… I got bored. Don't ask me why!**


End file.
